Nothing New News...

I took a couple more pics of the violets or what ever they are outside the back door. There is a daffodil that is about to bloom too. I'm excited that I live in an apartment house, where the landlord actually cares about the flowers outside. The house might not look like much, but dammit the yard is gorgeous! I also started a new crochet project on Wednesday. A little while back I bought a bunch of yarn off of Webs. I was going to make a sweater/pullover I found in Interweave Crochet, but decided against it. I'm not real comfortable with shaping yet, and didn't want to risk fucking it up. So, I slept on it and decided to make a skirt. I've wanted to make one for a really long time, but didn't find any I really liked. I settled on Violet Beauregard from the Stitch 'N' Bitch crochet book. I really like it so far. I'll make a lining for it when it is done, and put a little bit of elastic at the top to help the drawstring with the weight of the skirt. I'll probably buy a really nice ribbon. Something with a bunch of pizazz! Hella pizazz.

The Very First Spring Flowers I've Seen!

Well, I think it is really finally spring time. I saw the first flowers yesterday morning when I was leaving for work. Just three little violets waving in the brisk wind whipping around them. It made me so happy I just had to take a picture of them!

Speaking of taking pictures, not too happy with the new camera I bought. However, it could also be that I still don't understand how it works yet. I really miss my Canon Digital Elph, but it was an old camera. It paid it's dues. That thing went all around the world with me. Heck, it still has Baghdad dust in the view finder. Rest in peace, little Elph!

I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today!

Well, I am officially a clerk! I am a loser who works at a convenience store...and I would like to correct it is not a Mobil...it is a Marathon station. It's easy, it's mindless, and I love it! The perfect job for me at the moment. Whoo! I just have to make sure that I keep my girlyness because the entire store is run by dykes and two dorky dudes. Eek! Oh...and Stella! Stella! Who's real name is Stephanie. Don't really know why everyone calls her Stella.

So...I'm just dinking around before I have to go in today, and that's really it. School's going really well. I've got an 84% on each of my first two tests and an A- on my first paper. I'm liking most of my teachers, and everything is well. I really miss the community college atmosphere "where every one knows your name" and all the teachers are friendly and personable. This campus is so huge and my classes are so large that I can't really meet anyone. I'm taking it is stride though. I really like my life here. For the first time in a really long time I am content! Yay! So...enjoy some Clerks and have a great day!

I Have A Jo-ob!

Finally, after almost two months in Kalamazoo I have a job! This is very exciting. Well, sort of anyway. I'm working at the Mobil gas station on the corner of Lovell and Oakland. It is called the Dairy Mart or DM. Hopefully, I won't get stuck up while I'm working there. A gun in my face is not going to make a good day. I'm making minimum wage, $7.40, which is okay, I mean money is money. It will definitely help me with my bills.

I started reading the Twilight series a couple of weeks ago and I'm very into them. I just started the third book, Eclipse, the other day. I'm a little in love with Edward, I'm not gonna lie. I just started liking the Bella character too. I thought throughout the first book she was just some sort of Emo kid. I hate Emo kids. They are annoying. However, Bella really isn't that way I learned so now I'm kind of into her character. I'm interested to see if she will get turned into a vampire or not.

If you happen to be in the mood for any other vampire books I would suggest Christopher Moore's "You Suck" and Tate Hallaway's "Tall, Dark, and Dead" series. They are pretty funny and interesting. They are a little like paranormal mysteries with a hilarious twist.

In crochet news I finished blocking my grey sweater. It is a little big, but it hangs nicely. It will be good for wrapping up in in the wintertime. I also started the beaded scarf. I'm about half way done with it. It is turning out really well.

In about a half of a day I made a red slouchy hat. I made it out of Red Heart Super Saver and really didn't like the stiffness of it. I through it in the laundry with some fabric softener and then into the dryer. Oh...my...god! It is really soft now and it drapes really beautifully. Now I just have to get the balls to wear it out in public!

I also started a cotton shopping bag, but I decided I didn't like it so I tore it apart and I'm going to find something else to use the yarn for. I really want to get rid of all of my yarn. It's a quest now!

So, in different news. I went to the bar last night. Met some people, got drunk, got embarrassed and cried. Beer is bad for me. I really like the taste and most of the time I can drink it without getting to buzzed up, which is the way I like to be, but I hate the times when I really get drunk. Uh! I hate it. Happy to say that I'm not too embarrassed. I might go to the bar again tonight, but I will only be drinking water and soda. I think that is a good plan.

Also, I don't know what is up with the city of Kalamazoo, but last week they filled in a bunch of potholes on my street. Today, the decided to tear the whole street out and repave. What was the point of filling the potholes? I don't understand.

Well, I'm back...again.

Well, I'm back again. I am determined to keep this up for a while at least. I'm in love with this new knit/crochet website at the moment and I can link my blogs to it. How amazing is that? I've wanted to post my projects for a long time too. I think it would be neat to start selling or donating my projects because I don't need everything that I make!

So, I finished my first sweater the other day. It's blocking right now, so I don't know how it looks on me just yet. It is a heather gray cardigan that I found in a pattern book that I bought at Walmart. It took me about a month to crochet it. It was super easy. There was a little counting as I was making the body, that is how it was shaped. The sleeves and the collar were fun because of the neat lace pattern. I usually loose interest in large projects so the fact that I finished something that I can actually wear it astonishing to me. Maybe I have more confidence in my work.

I also started a scarf yesterday. I think I am going to make two of them. One I will donate or give to a friend, and the other I am going to make for myself. The first one is going to be for a friend, and the second one I am going to bead around the edges. I think it will just pump up the sophistication of the finished look. I excited to see if it works. Sometimes embellishments are too much. If I may steal from Mr. Marvelous Tim Gunn I have to have an editing eye. I don't want to be walking around with a ghastly, kitchy looking crocheted piece wrapped around my shoulders. Eek!

So, in other news. I'm in Kalamazoo now. I going to school. I decided I wanted to be a journalist when I grow up. I'm going to Western Michigan University and I really love it! I love my apartment! (Pictures to come!) and all of it! I don't have a job yet, but I am looking. I've got great neighboors and live on a beautiful street.

Speaking of my street...a little anecdote!

My neighboor, Kylie, and I were sitting on the porch last night drink a beer. Across the street is a beautiful brick house. In this house lives a man, a woman, and like seven of the same type of dog! Really yippy little white things. THEY ARE LOUD!

But, anyway...last night the woman let them out and they ran directly to the gate and started barking at something that was alive, a mouse, or bat, or squirrel...I'm not sure what. The woman freaked out and called them all inside. Six of them listened, but one did not. Poor little Placeto. (That's the name of the dog! She screamed it at him at least a million times!) So, she's screaming at little Placeto, who is not paying any attention to her, and is more interested with this terrible creature that she is deathly afraid of. So, she gets in her car and drives up to the gate, because she is so scared. She won't get out of the car to pick up the dog, because small mouse-like creature with surely attack her.

Finally, another neighbor from across the street comes to try and help her. She still will not leave her car. She has to open the gate so the neighboor can come in, pick up

her dog, and hand it to her. Kylie and I were mesmerized. This took at least a half hour. It was hilarious. We appaulded the neighbor as she made her way back across the street. She answered us with a rowdy, "Yea! I'm the hero!"

I feel sorry for Placeto.

Brocade

For creative writing we are required to write a "Brocade" every week. We are given two emotions and a picture in which to refer the emotions. Then, simply, we write about it. Here is my first one. After this I will include the picture. It was an old rusty bus sitting in tall weeds. The emotions were hope and love. Enjoy:

We had so much fun Tim and I. Every morning he would come out of his house at exactly 7:00, and begin his inspection. His hand would trail along my side as he made his way around me, looking for chips and scrapes in my paint, or cracks in my mirrors and lights. He'd give a gentle kick to each of my tires, and as he finished he would tap me on the hood and say, "Well, old girl, let's start our day." He would jump in and start me up. I would purr for him, showing my excitement to be back on the road. We would go about our day, picking up stranded citizens, and replacing them where they rightly belonged. This was the service Tim and I provided, and we both cherished it. We did this together for many years, Tim would come out of his house every morning and perform the same examination day in and day out, until one day he tapped me on the hood and said, "I don't know if I can use you anymore, old girl." Then drug me off and dumped me here, an elephant graveyard of "old girls" just like me. And here I sit, staring at the gate having faith that one day Tim will walk through them and say to me, "Well, old girl, let's start our day."

Happy Fucking Easter

Well...In true holiday fashion Easter came and went and I wish it just hadn't. Holidays are good if you have family or friends...Or at least friends who don't disappear on you and then tell you "It's nothing personal". Now, I can't lie and say I wasn't invited somewhere. I was...And the food would have been good, but why go and suffer through a bunch of assholes getting drunk and complaining about work for a good meal? Anyway, my day wasn't all that bad. I went and consoled myself the only real way any woman can...I went shopping. I found a lucky yenny (Yes, that's yenny.) on the way to the train station and went to the arcade and kicked ass on "Pop'n'Music" (The greatest game invented.) and Mario Kart and actually found clothes in that fit me...I found the ever coveted little black dress. You know the one I'm talking about. It is so cute and actually fits over my hips and is slimming and the whole deal. Next is the shoes...(More shopping opportunities!) So, today I'm going to Yokosuka to get my teeth evaluated for my wisdom tooth surgery. Eek! Not looking forward to that...Let me tell you. (Look for the blog entry about why I hate dentists!) And that's about it. I'm still trying to make my final decisions about where I'm going to actually settle when I get out of the Army. And yes!, I am getting out. For right now. Before anyone tells me..."You should really stay in." "It's hard to find a job." "You won't make as much money." try to be confident that I can actually make it on my own. It's not the end of the world. People start over all the time...It is never too late, and you never get to live if you stay where it's easy. Screw that. I'm not interested. It's all about the living people and I'll take the good and the bad with that.

New Blurb

I know I'm pathetic...and I shouldn't try to write while I should be getting ready for work...and I know I won't give you any info you really want to read, but at least I'm adding something to this almost dead blog...I'll take time tonight or tomorrow to fill everyone in on what has been happening to me. Like BJ coming to visit and getting out and so on and so forth. Be patient...I get off my ass eventually and take care of this blog like I said I would! LOL!

Yea for the Little Things!

So, this weekend was the first time I (and the band) has had a full four day weekend since I don't know when. It's interesting...I had forgotten how it felt to have four full days off. I remember in Germany going with Coop to Greiswald on a four day and or to Salzburg with him, Josh Simmons, and Dan Rashkin and also to Euro Disney and Paris with the whole gang. I can certainly say...Four day weekends are so much more fun while stationed in Germany! It was nice too, because even if you didn't go anywhere Mainz and Wiesbaden were so close! And even to go to the PX was fun because you were actually leaving the airfield. (They had a really nice book store with Cinnebon and lounge chairs too! I miss it!) And there was a movie theatre on base! They played really sucky movies, but you didn't have to go out to see a movie.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is: JAPAN SUCKS! It was great when I first got here, but uh! There is nothing on base for single soldiers. Unless you wanna get drunk and hang out with gross, annoying people. Everything else is so expensive! It takes forever to get anywhere! You have to walk to the train station and then the train, then walk again wherever your going. Even if you drive it takes your twenty minutes to go like five miles! And believe me, I'm not exaggerating. I love window shopping, but that's only when it's stuff I want, or can afford, or wear! Japan is definitely not the place for single American girls, but I've been through this before. Movies are $17! To play a game at the arcade is $1. I mean! Just to have fun will leave anyone broke!

However, the title of this entry is "Yea for the Little Things" so, I suppose I should move on to what the little things are. First, yea! For break ups! Seriously, I broke up this weekend with a guy that I have been separated from for a year and a half. I'm glad we finally went through the steps. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest and I can move on in relationships now. I won't have the thought of him hanging in the back of my brain. I do have to get ahold of him and let him know that I didn't really mean all the stuff about not talking to talk him any time soon. I think this time I really can move on and be friends, heck it's been that way for so long anyway!

Secondly, Yea! For hot chocolate! Have you ever seen anyone sad after they've had a hot cup of cocoa? Not likely. Especially not if you put in a shot of peppermint schnapps!

Three: Yea! For peace and quiet. I didn't do anything this weekend. Nothing socially anyway, and I'm happy. I can't say that I didn't have any bored or lonely moments, but oh...I needed a break and thankfully, I got it!

Four: Yea! For creativity. I love my talents. They don't make me any money, (actually they are quite expensive), but when I see one more round on a crocheted blanket finished, or the colors shining from a just finished Christmas card...It's happiness.

Five: Yea! For moms. I don't mean to say that my mother and I have the best relationship. We do get on each others nerves every now and then, but if I ever want to talk something through...I know I can talk to mom. She doesn't always tell me exactly what I want to here, but that's what mothers are for.

And finally (at least for right now): Yea! For Christmas shows of DVD! It makes you feel like a kid again. It's just Yea!

So, now I have to go into work tomorrow. I start every day with a "Don't let them bother me" attitude. Sometimes it doesn't always work, but remember in three weeks I'll be home for Christmas and I won't have to deal with their crap for two whole weeks! (One for Yea!)

The Great Things About Living in Michigan

Part 1 If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swimby, you might live in Michigan. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights eachyear because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you> might live in Michigan. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan. Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN when............. 1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75. 2. You measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. 9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. 12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent. 13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. 14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. 15. Down South to you means Ohio. 16. A brat is something you eat. 17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn. 18. You go out to fish fry every Friday. 19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." 22. You drink pop and bake with soda. 23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine. 24. You know what a Yooper is. 25. You think owning a Honda is Un American. 26. You know that UP is a place, not a direction. 27. You know it's possible to live in a thumb. 28. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest. 29. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends

I love Google!

So, I made Google my new home page and there is a portion on there called "'How To' of the Day". It is so neat, because it always seems to have at least one thing that I'm really struggling with up there. Here is the one for today!

Impossible People

Hey! I just read this article about "How to Deal With Impossible People" and I thought it was great. I work with about 44 impossible people in a unit of about 46. So, hopefully it will help you get on better with your day. There is a link on the bottom of that page about "How to Deal With Criticism at Work". That one is good also! Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

To one and all!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Whoo-hoo!

Pisces February 18 - March 19 This is a great time to take advantage of a little solitude to pursue some cherished goals that you've had on hold, dear Pisces. Your concentration and imagination are both operating at a very high level, and you may not stop working until you've completely finished. If you're starting a project, you'll probably do well on it, and, if business and money are involved, make a success of it. Don't let temporary snags get in your way. Go for the gold!

Good Advice for a Single Thanksgiving

I just read this article and it helped me set my mind for this long four day weekend ahead of me! If there is anyone else in my boots maybe this will help! Enjoy! http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=5000&TrackingID=516164&BannerID=541888&menuid=7

Alone in a Crowded Room

Have you ever been in a crowded room and felt totally and absolutely alone? And it's not even a room full of complete strangers...No! You know these people! You spend almost 24 hours a day with some of them. You work together, you eat, sleep, and drink together. You've shared many different secrets about yourself to these people, you know their secrets. You know their wives and husbands and children's names, but for some reason, now...You are alone. You just don't fit in. You seem to say something and everyone stares blankly in your direction as if you have just appeared out of thin air, and then in a blink of an eye they are back in their conversation as if you had never said anything at all. Even if you have embraced the fact that they may just not like you that much or that you are a little socially introverted and you've started enjoying doing your own thing you can still hear them. "I did this!" "I did that!" "Let's go do this!" You wish that you could bring up the courage to invite yourself, but you really wouldn't have a good time. The conversation would bore you and you would still be ignored. It's seems like a lose-loose situation. Maybe you just have to find a different crowd. One that will embrace you for who you are. Who shares your interests and make you feel as one of the group instead of a turd in the corner that everyone pretends isn't there so they don't have to pick it up. You need to look deep into yourself to see if you just want to be seen as cool or if these people are the kind of people who would be good friends. Really, they'll just use you. Cut you down so that they look that much better. Screw them! You're better than that! You just have to get out and have fun by yourself, and like your mother has told you...Forget about it...And friends will come...

MR. CELLOPHANE If someone stood up in a crowd

And raised his voice up way out loud

And waved his arm and shook his leg

You'd notice him

If someone in the movie show

Yelled "Fire in the second row

This whole place is a powder keg!"

You'd notice him

And even without clucking like a hen

Everyone gets noticed, now and then,

Unless, of course, that personage should be

Invisible, inconsequential me!

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophan

e'Cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there...I tell ya

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there...

Suppose you was a little cat

Residin' in a person's flat

Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?

You'd notice him

Suppose you was a woman, wed

And sleepin' in a double bed

Beside one man, for seven years

You'd notice him

A human being's made of more than air

With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there

Unless that human bein' next to you

Is unimpressive, undistinguished

You know who...

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there...I tell ya

Cellophane

Mister Cellophane

Shoulda been my name

Mister Cellophane

'Cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there

Never even know I'm there.

Hope I didn't take up too much of your time.

I'm back....REALLY!

So, life got a little more confusing there than it already is for a month or two, and I really do feel bad for not posting any recent events in my life. I really don't know where to begin. I suppose I should start with my promotion and promotion party. It was actually quite unexciting ( the promotion part), but the promotion party was a blast! I had two people pin me my friend Shawnee and I wanted Dwayne Simmons, but his wife decided to give birth on the day on my promotion (bitch), so I had to have my ex-drill sergeant Bill Snow pin me instead. That's ok too!

For my promotion party we went to Fridays in Machida, and then we went kareokeing. That was a blast. I love the way the Japanese do kareoke. You rent a room and then you and all your crazy (insane is more like it!) friends sing and drink and make a fool!

That was the beginning of October...What else has happened? I started school, then decided that was a pain in the ass and decided to wait until I get to Chicago, so I withdrew. I had my first really singing gig on Sunday! That was so much fun! It was a girls junior college and they thought we were the best. I got to go out and dance with them and I was back on stage where I'm supposed to be. I can't wait until I can do community theatre again. I need the lights! I need the stage! I need the audience! And now, it's November and I don't have much else going on until December when hopefully BJ will be on his way. I just found out today that one of my best friends from Germany got married! I couldn't believe it! It added one more guy to the curse. The girl right after me! Beware men who don't like marriage...Either that just stay with me and it will never happen! LOL! Anyway...It's nice to be back on the boat again, and hopefully I won't have anymore dry spells on here, or at least not as long of ones!

Safe Sex Never Felt So Good!

Ok, so I have to start out by saying I read about this in "O" magazine of all places. I was so intrigued that I had to do some researched. I'm sure you people lucky enough to have American TV and not the Armed Forces Network have seen commercials for this interesting device. A one time use vibrator that is on a silicone ring that slips onto the penis of your partner. So, while the deed is being down you get a little extra buzz. Well, in theory this is a pretty good idea. However, first of all, it's ten dollar ($10) for one. It only lasts for twenty minutes. So, if your love making takes longer than that you're shit out of luck, or if you are like some other fortunate couples, like to do it a lot. Well, that's ten bucks a pop! At this rate just buy a vibrator. It'll pay for itself! Secondly, (Disclaimer: If you are squeamish about hearing your niece or daughter or granddaughter, or goddaughter babbling on this way I suggest you not read ahead. Surprise! I'm not a little girl any more! LOL!) I can't imagine it would be very comfortable for either partner. The guy has this goofy looking ring wrapped around his thing, and the female has this thing being shoved against her repeatedly. You know what I mean? It just doesn't seem right. Wouldn't it make more sense to put a thing like that on a female condom so you at least get the prolonged sensation, not just when your fully penetrated by your guy. And lastly, don't you think it's kinda creepy that Trojan is promoting sex toys. That's not their job. They make condoms. It is their job to make sure no one gets pregnant or a STD. Not to make sex toys. If it was a spemicidally treated vibrator ring they would be a little closer to their own terrain, but no, they're selling sex toys at the drug store. I think this is something that you should only be able to pick up at one of your local skeezy sex shops. You know, where everyone kinda slinks around hoping they don't see anyone they know. Now it's: "Yours at Walgreens for the low, low price of $9.99. So, you can pick it up and run into your pastor around the corner. (However, If you run into him at the sex shop, at least you got a great story!) I don't know. Perhaps I'm putting to much thought into this. Actually, I know I'm thinking to deeply, but I just find it humorous! Anyway, I took my time to look this up on the Trojan website (and it was fun!), so why don't you take a look and decide for yourself? http://www.trojancondoms.com/vibratingring/index.asp Have fun and enjoy...(Yourself, if you know what I mean!)

A Lotta Bit of Humor

Dan sent me this link last night and I laughed so hard I almost wet myself! Thank God I live alone! How embarrassing! And enjoy:

Men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women for thousands of years, Finally, this guide helps you understand just how it works. Always remember, to make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and you lose points. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Hey, it's her game, you might as well learn how to play.

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed................................................+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows......-1

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....................-2

You leave the toilet seat up....................................-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty..............+5

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.............-2

You go out to buy her extra -light panty liners with wings......+5

in the rain.....................................................+8

but return with beer............................................-1

and no pads.....................................................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night.......................+1

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing..............nada

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something............+5

You pummel it with a six iron...................................+10

It's her cat....................................................-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party...........................nada

You stay by her side for a while, then leave with a drinking buddy...........................................-2

Named Tiffany...................................................-20

Tiffany is a dancer.............................................-50

With breast implants............................................-100

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday.......................................+1

You buy a card and flowers......................................+2

You take her out to dinner......................................+5

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar............+6

Okay, it is a sports bar........................................-20

And it's all-you-can-eat night..................................-30

It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your faceis painted the colors of your favorite team.....................-40

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal...................................................nada

The pal is happily married......................................+1

The pal is single...............................................-10

He drives a Ferrari.............................................-20

With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....................-30

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie.........................................+2

You take her to a movie she likes...............................+5

You take her to a movie you hate................................+8

You take her to a movie you like................................-5

It's called Death Cop III.......................................-10

it features Cyborgs that eat humans.............................-15

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...........-20

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly..............................-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it..+10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loosejeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.................................-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".................-1000

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding......................................-10

You reply, "Where?".............................................-35

You reply, "No, honey, I think it's your

butt"................................................Game_Over

Forlorn Adventurer

Well, since I don't have as much time left in Japan as I had hoped, I decided yesterday to finally get out of my room and explore this wild and mystical country. I'm right in the middle of the most populated and historical center in Japan, so I don't have to travel far to get to see many of these crazy things. I'd bought a travel book and looked up some interesting sites, then went looking for someone to accompany me. Unfortunately, everyone in the unit already had plans. So, as you see, I was all by my lonesome. I almost didn't go. I mean, what is the point of going and discovering all these amazing things if you don't have anyone to share them with. Then I thought about it. I walked around Salzburg all day once and had a great time. I didn't have anyone telling me they wanted to see something different, or what I was checking out was boring. And I do have someone to share all this with. All of you! So, I checked the train routes and I was on my way to Kamakura to see the Great Buddha, or Daibutsu as the Japanese call it. Daibutsu is the second largest statue of Buddha in all of Japan. It was built in 1252. It was guilded in cooper and enclosed in a large temple. In 1495, a huge tsunami wiped away the temple and everything around it. Only the Daibutsu survived. There are craploads of temples and shrines all over the Kamakura district, but I only went and looked at two. The first one was by mistake because I couldn't read the map I had bought, so I followed two cute guys down a tree covered path in the middle of the street hoping they would lead me in the right direction. I ended up at the Hachiman Shrine, which is one of the largest and most beautiful in Kamakura, but I didn't know that at the time. I was just annoyed that I didn't know where I was, and I didn't have a lot of time before the Daibutsu temple closed. The stone stairway was so long, but it was worth the walk. The temple was huge. I wanted to go back and explore the outer buildings and museums that they had near there. When I figured out where I was and took off toward the Daibutsu. It was a long walk, but it was pretty. I found the road that led up to the temple. There is a thing about Japan. I always seem to be on the wrong side of traffic. I think, walk on the left side, no, all the walking traffic is on the other side of road, so I switch and again I'm pushing against the current. So, moving on, I got to the Great Buddha. It was smaller than I thought, and the surrounding shrine wasn't really much to look at, but it was worth it. For 500 yen, or $5, they allow tourists to go inside the statue. Want to know what it was like? Well, imagine, walking inside the bottom of your mother's favorite porcelain knick-knack. I made my way down the road to the little train station that takes tourist back to the Kamakura train station. This little road should have been called "Ice Cream Alley" because of all the ice cream shops. And I'll tell you another thing: Sweet potato is the flavor of the season. Holy cow! Purple ice cream everywhere (Sweet potato ice cream is lilac colored.) I got a sweet potato/vanilla twist cone. It's was very good. I got back to Soubudia-mae (the train station outside Camp Zama) and had sushi for dinner. I love the sushi restaurants they have. They have a bar for single people and booths for parties, but they are all placed around a conveyor belt with sushi and food on plates. You grab the plate you want and they are color-coded to tell you how much that plate costs. Pink is 100 yen, green 150, blue 250. Then they have tea and cups on a bottom belt so you just have to grab it and put hot water in it from the little spout that's on your table. It's so fun. I love sushi.